This blog is all about exploring different perspectives on health and wellness. The aim is to inspire new thoughts and encourage conversations. By pushing the existing boundaries, we include more women in the day to day discussion of healthcare.
Until very recently, infertility was a topic that lived in the shadows. Couples continue to struggle on their own and feel that they can’t share their experiences. However, celebrities are now sharing their stories and shedding light on their inability to get or stay pregnant. Their tales are magnified as social media allows others to step into the same light. It’s not easy to find the words… When someone else discloses an experience similar to one’s own, it can inspire a “like” or a “share” as a simple demonstration of togetherness.
If it’s now easier for women to talk about miscarriages and IVF, who is still in the shadows? One group we don’t discuss is the women who can’t have children because they can’t have intercourse. Sex is supposed to be fun, enjoyable, pleasurable. If nothing else, it’s certainly supposed to be the means of reproduction. Acknowledging that some women don’t have children because of vaginismus requires us to talk about something that brings on much more discomfort than infertility: sex and pain.
Why would sex be painful? It’s hard to imagine benign or even positive reasons. It can be painful because of trauma, fear, apprehension, and so much more. It can be painful because it was painful the last time; the body is very good at protection and survival. And because we’re not good at talking about pain down there, we leave these women in the shadows.
As a physiotherapist there’s nothing I can do about many of the causes of infertility. However, vaginismus and pelvic pain are well within my realm. The first step is to talk about this condition within the fertility discussion and bring women out of the dark corners.
If you don’t have vaginismus, you can help by talking about it. You never know who in your social circles will benefit. If you’re lucky, a baby might come into the world and a woman might be able to enjoy a physical relationship! Share this article with others and spread the word.
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